How to avoid “toxic positivity” and find happiness in a less obvious way

Recently, the phrase “toxic positivity” has drawn a lot of attention. Following the “positivity movement,” we are starting to understand that while being happy is a desirable thing, placing too much emphasis on having a positive outlook can have the opposite effect, increasing sadness.

Absolutely, according to study, people who are happier tend to live longer, be healthier, and have greater success in their life. As compared to persons who are only averagely happy, “extremely happy people” have more of these advantages. Yet, pleasure or positivity can become toxic if sought in certain circumstances.

These seemingly contradictory findings – that pursuing happiness may be both beneficial and detrimental to our wellbeing – served as the impetus for our study, which was published in The Journal of Positive Psychology and involved over 500 participants. According to several studies, people who place a high priority on their own happiness may actually experience less enjoyment, particularly in situations where they are most likely to feel pleased.

It has been found that expecting happiness and then feeling let down or blaming oneself for not feeling joyful enough is a propensity that is associated with increased depression symptoms and well-being deficits.

In the words of a Randy Glasbergen cartoon with a patient telling his psychologist what’s on his mind:However, researchers have also observed when people prioritise behaviours that maximise the likelihood of their future happiness – rather than attempting to directly increase their levels of happiness “in the moment” – they are more likely to experience improvements (rather than deficits) in their levels of well-being.

This may mean engaging in activities that provide a sense of achievement or purpose, such as volunteering time or completing difficult tasks, or constructing daily routines that support well-being.

This work suggests pursuing happiness indirectly, rather than making it the main focus, could turn our search for positivity from toxic to tonic.

We wanted to find out what it was about making happiness a focal goal that backfires.

To gain a better understanding, we measured these two approaches to finding happiness: valuing happiness versus prioritising positivity.

People who valued happiness agreed with statements such as “I am concerned about my happiness even when I feel happy” or “If I don’t feel happy, maybe there is something wrong with me”.